Kindness matters, even when it’s not the holiday season

Aiysha Mustapha is a School Climate and Culture Specialist, part of the Achievement and Integration department, at Robbinsdale Middle School. She has worked for Robbinsdale Area Schools since 2016.

Robbinsdale Area Schools has been working hard to address an ongoing issue across the district: diversity and inclusion. There are those who will say they are tired of hearing about it, yet they often perpetuate behaviors that create adversity for us all. 

For example, there has been an increase in the usage of racialized language among our students and even staff. While much of this can be attributed to influences such as music or home life, it also stems from the experiences of our students and staff. Please keep this in mind as you reflect on the saying, “Hurt people hurt people.”

Language is important. Being mindfully aware of how we communicate is especially important as we face the adversity that comes with being from a different culture rather than what is perceived as the dominant culture.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” This is a phrase I grew up with as a Black American female. It was always one I kept in the back of my mind as I faced many harsh words, from experiencing the realities of colorism—rooted historically in slavery—to witnessing the far-reaching anti-Black sentiment I encountered outside of the United States. I even researched this phrase as an adult, because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to teach it to my own children.

The phrase was first documented in The Christian Recorder as an old adage in an African Methodist church in March of 1862. The original phrase was recorded as “Sticks and stones may break bones, but names will never hurt me” before evolving into the more familiar version we know today.

This phrase was created to convince us, from childhood to adulthood, that resilience is key to surviving in an increasingly cruel world. However, we now understand that words hold power—and that they can hurt. Not just feelings but egos are attached to individuals who may lash out in pain and, in turn, hurt others. Words do hurt, and the shame those words can instill in us often perpetuates within our minds and bodies.

It is important to teach our students to think before they speak and to remember that, as human beings, we will never fully know what someone else is going through. Our words have the potential to make someone’s day worse—or better. This awareness is critical now, especially in our schools.

Kindness is something we should reflect on not only during the holidays but, rather, something we practice daily. This can be a struggle, but it is important to know there is a way for all of us to do better and, in doing so, approach each other with positivity.

By striving to lead with kindness and positivity, we can inspire and support one another.